A small-time con-man with passport problems gets mixed up with a gang of world-class jewelry thieves plotting to rob the Topkapi museum in Istanbul. Turkish intelligence, suspecting arms smuggling, gets involved, and under pressure the con-man rises to heights he'd never dreamed of.
Lister learns he is the mythical god of Cat's people known as "Cloister the stupid" and Red Dwarf stumbles upon a Red Dwarf garbage capsule and Rimmer thinks it's a stasis capsule carrying a dormant alien woman.
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